Wha Ah became a renacter
Ah jus needed to kill me some Yankees, but they donít hav to actually dah. Itís good cause you ken shoot em agin next time around! Kaws there haint no good ones. They all hafta dah. Everything bad in this World, they did. Tops on the list: keeping us down. They are the Devilís chief advocate on this planet! Well, planetís probably the wrong word, but Ah donít know what terminology Godís using at the moment. Garden of Eden Annex, maybe. Annex is good kaws itís lahk right next door to the real deal. Lahk you ken put a glass on the door and heer whatís going on on the other sahd. I got mah eah tuned in most tahmes. You wooden beleev the stuff Ah heah! The ďComing End TahmsĒ and all that. If only the rest of humanity knew! Fire and brimstone? Childsplay. Nuclear Hollowcost? Amusement park ride. Such pain and torment canít be described using earthly languages. Think of an ingroan toenail tahms ten, while someone informs you your dawter wants to marry a Yankee. Shoooooweeee! I know that wood send me out screaming into the back yard!
I had a fren whose dawter went and did that. She got x-communicated right then and there. Bye now. Donít bother to write. Save ink and paper for someone else. Dispickable. Werenít raised lahk that, I ken tell you. How could she not know?
A Yankee is the lowest sneak on the- letís say the Garden of Eden Annex. Ha! Cawt myself. Thatís good. Use the right wordology and the mind will follow. Thatís what these kids need. They got freedom, freedom, freedom without responsibility, responsibility, responsibility. It almost ruined me. I was lucky. I cawt myself. Donít worry, I was sure going the wrong path. It had sahns and everything saying so. What turned me round? Donít know. I guess an angel tapped my shoulder. Yeah. Mah wife. Figgured she needed help. Ignoring mah own drowning self. All those bad behaviors the accursed Yankee foisted upon us God-fearing folk Ah diligently participated in. We got to talking and Ah showed her how this was true. It hit her lahk the first look in the mirror after a bad perm. Ahv been hornswaggled!
Sheís a beleever you bet! Hates em more than I do, if thatís possible. Has shot more anyway. Those early morning tacticles, sheís up and ready and shaking me from a dead sleep dreaming about shooting the bastuds! Well, why dream it when you ken get up and actually do it??!! Convinced me. She slung mah acooterments over mah shoulder and we fell in. Got ten or twenty afore they got me. But they didnít touch her, no sireeee. She must be made of cold steel. She ended up with three guys behind her loading while she picked them off. You couldnít do nothing but admire it. It was lahk the loves and the fishes. An inestimable amount of powder was miraclised from the first few cartridges. Glory! Add that story to the good book.
The Good Book. Ah hates to say it, but Ah hav a problem understanding it lahk Ah shood. Lahk weíre supposed to think pagens wrong and evil and all for doing human sacrifices. Then they turn around and tell you God loved us so much he did what? Sacrificed his own son? Did Ah get that right? Must be a good thing then. Heck, they mean to tell you itís the most glorious thing ever happened. So Ahm confused.
Well, itís a mixed message lahk all Yankee propaganda. Those snakes wood hav us beleev the moonís a rock floating in space. Well, Ahm into human sacrifice too. Look at all those Yanks canít wait to move on to the next World. Ahm happy to oblige them.. Ah get points for all that. Ahm the high priest of sending Yanks to the Garden we spoke of earlier. Itís a sacrament Ahm performing. Mah soul must be as clean as Miss Maiseís Tuesday wash. Theirs too after I absolve them of their sins against Southern Humanity.
Well, Ah try. Shootingís one thing, but countering all that propaganda is another.
Hope to see you on the firing line. Now you know wha Ahm there.