When Is It Acceptable to Leave an Event Early?

[Bill_Cross]

This topic came up on another thread about whether it's OK or not to leave an event early. The reasons some object to the "leave early" crowd are:

1. It destroys unit cohesion

2. Weakens morale

3. Seems "cowardly"

4. Subjects the leavers to ridicule.

Indeed, there is one individual who has the nickname "One Day Skeffington" because he shows up Saturday AM, stays through the day, and is gone by dark. He's a nice person and we all like him, but when he signs up for one of my companies or regiments, I know he's good for about 24 hours maximum. Part of that is because he lives close to many events to drop in and drop out. I think this is one reason so many gray left McDowell early during the 2003 iteration after the weather turned rotten: many of them lived within a couple of hours. So-called "graybackitis."

Sometimes there's no avoiding leaving early. At "Into the Wilderness," we lost one fellow when his wife became ill (she was doing the authentic civilian thing, for those of you who feel we "hardcores" aren't "family-friendly"). But I also found out after dark that one of my company commanders had left without telling anyone but his lieutenant. His reason: many of his command had left early, so he didn't see any need for his services. My feeling is: don't accept command if you can't stick out until the end. The lieutentant got a field "promotion" for the event, and handled himself capably during the battle the next AM.

In the interest of full disclosure, I confess I was grateful when Recon 2 1/2 was scrubbed on Saturday night, as we'd accomplished about all that could be done by the end of that day. Sticking it out in rain and lightning would've just meant a night of misery. On the other hand, I was sorely disappointed when Recon 2 was scrubbed, as most of the "progressive" campaigners had thrown up shebangs and were ready to handle a second night of cold.

[VaTrooper]

Unless it was a health issue I wouldnt leave. Weather is just another part of the game.

[indguard]

Unless someone gets hurt or sick or the event was cancelled, there is NO reason to leave early.

In FACT, I feel it shows disrespect for the hobby, the event AND your own pards to constantly leave early from every event.

(Naturally, there will be individual times when all you really CAN do is one day. I am talking the chronic one day participant here)

WTH

[roundshot]

What a ludicrous question. This is a hobby. A person can leave when they **** well decide they want to. Yes, they may have to manage the "fallout," but no one else has the right to decide if it was "justified" or not. Get real, people!

Bob Williams
The West Point Battery

[Rob]

My job requires me to work Sunday afternoons. I don't get home until about 3:30 Monday morning.

Feeding my family is just a bit more important than a hobby - this one, or any other. If people don't like the fact that I miss most Sundays, then they'll just have to go on not liking it.

[Tom Scoufalos]

I just wanted to make a quick post on this thread to assuage some guilt I have been experiencing this season.

Typically, I show up at an event later than I would like (late, LATE Friday is my norm) and stay until the bitter end. I enjoy the hobby so much that I usually do not want to leave early almost irregardless of the circumstances. I would also like/enjoy showing up earlier than I typically do, but in my line of work I need to put in for any days off a full 4 MONTHS ahead of time, so that is not always practicable.

However, this season has been very atypical, for a number of reasons, not the least of which is my upcoming marriage in about a month. Add to that trading up to a bigger house a couple of months ago and a couple of providers from my office on medical LOA obliging me to work one to two weekends a month (vice typically a couple a YEAR) and you have a recipe for a shot year of living history.

To cut to the chase, I love the hobby and have been able to go to a couple of events this year. However, at those events, I have become a "one hit wonder" so to speak. Typically arriving late, late Friday and leaving Sat afternoon/early evening. For me, this is the only way to get any hobby time in, and I have felt bad about it, but not bad enough to stop going to events altogether if I can help it.

For example, I had been getting kit together for 11th NY/1st Regiment (Fire) Zouaves for the past 3 years. Got the weekends mixed up and found out 2 weeks before the event that it fell on the same weekend as Nicole's bridal shower. Explaining why the groom in this case was necessary at the bridal shower is beyond the scope of this email! Anyway, suffice to say I could get away Friday night and stay through the scenario Saturday, but that's it. Did I go? **** yeah...pardon the hyperbole, but I was all but despondent when it looked like I could not go at all. Did I leave early? Had to. Did I want to leave early? It killed me, but wanted to do the right thing by HER, which comes first (my priorities = God and my personal Savior, family, career, personal health, temporal church and civic responsibilities, and somewhere after that, reenacting). Would/will I do it again? Yeah, most likely, until the dust from all the changes in my life settles down. Is it selfish of me? I really don't know, ergo the guilt that I am seeking to assuage by posting this.

-Tom Scoufalos

[Rob]

Tom,

Congrats on your upcoming marriage.

Don't feel guilty. You gotta do what you gotta do.

[ewtaylor]

I think it depends on the situation. Some people only care about themselves and will leave an event no matter what. Some have to leave early on Sunday because of work and travel distance. Some go to campaigner events and figure out they have bitten off more than they can chew and quitely disappear. Some go to events and quickly figure out the event is way too farby to stand and leave as soon as possible (or right away). No matter what your reason, I think you should be man enough to let your company commander know you are leaving. If you know you are leaving early on Sunday, or right away, you should let them know. I think it is extremely rude to leave without telling someone when and why. After you have done this, then leave-- it is just a hobby.
ew taylor

[BobSullivanPress]

In my many years on the musket-toting end of the hobby, I always thought that arriving late/leaving early is more than that.

Here's what I mean: If I tell you I have to work Saturday but will arrive for Saturday evening and Sunday, I'm not arriving late.

If I tell you I can't be there for Sunday, then I'm not leaving early when I leave Saturday night.

Leaving early to me means an unplanned departure. And in my book, illness and family emergencies count as legitimate reasons to leave early, but little else does. To me, there 's a verbal contract going on here. You arrive when you say you will arrive, you depart when you say you will depart. Other people depend on your being there when you say you'll be there.

I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing to not attend the full event. We have lives outside of this hobby. But if at all possible, stick to your verbal contract.

[Bill_Cross]

We have lives outside of this hobby. But if at all possible, stick to your verbal contract.

While it's "just a hobby" (a phrase used to excuse many sins), some events are more than just a matter of contributing a musket. Mainstreamers perhaps don't see that part of it, since in my mainstreaming days, the only thing that mattered was showing up for roll call and being on-time for the sham battles.

With campaigner/progressive events, those two events are often minor after-thoughts-- well, maybe not if you're orderly sergeant.... Many events post a full-time guard mount, and the strain on all is increased if folks bug out. Each company is usually accessed a certain number of bodies, and the more you have, the less the burden ("many hands make for light work").

Since campaigner events are often planned well before the first cars roll in off the Interstate, guard mount assessments are doled out early, too. If you show up later than you indicate (other than for a legitimate delay), or leave early because you want to get a jump on traffic, it may mean one or more of your pards will have to pick up your slack.

So I like what you say about honoring your verbal contract. If I'm in charge, and I know you have to work late Friday night, I can deal with it. If you get off Friday night and decide you'll just "bag it," then I'm the one left holding your bag.