A long time ago, a friend and I were toting some artillery stuff. The gun and limber had been loaded on the trailer, and moved. We were carrying the limber pole, and the prolong. (I can't remember why these things weren't on the trailer, but they weren't.) Up rides a covey of officers. You know officer's ain't real bright, and one of 'em asked what we were up to. "He's got a line, and I've got a pole. We're going fishing. What the h--- does it look like we're doing?" Well, it plumb shut 'em up.
Another time, we thought we should get a mess of silver-colored plastic spoons and scatter on the ground before the breastworks at Selma, but decided against it. We didn't want to get in trouble for shooting over a baited field.
There are a lot of alerts buttons ringing on this thread, probably the most alert buttons I've seen members push in years.
Modern racism will not be tolerated here. I've deleted the original post and its subsequent cogent detractors and lame defenders.
Carry on with your appropriately footnoted period jokes.
Originally Posted by jda3rd
Oh Lordy Frank! I'd pay money to see that.
And if I hadn't thrown in MyMama's old worn dented silver plate flatwear for Federals to steal at Bummers, I'd sure give it up for this.
Me, got rounded up by the game warden at a dove field one year, and all I did was bring around the BBQ sammiches.
He let me go, I think mostly cause I was 16, blonde, and crying. Yes, I already had my limit in the truck.
I beleive this is from Bell Wileys Johnny Reb and Billy Yank
A soldier turned his shirt inside out- so as the vermim would have to make a day long forced march to get back to his skin.....
Then there's a the one about the soldier who took a bath in the river and found a shirt he'd thought he'd thrown away.
I always heard that was a story on one of Jackson's Men coming out of the Valley Campaughn????
Originally Posted by Rob Weaver
Here is one, not a copy of a period joke, but a fun one to stop an Officer.
Officer is giving you a long talk in ranks about...... whatever!....... and ends the speech w/"Does anybody have any questions?"
I like to ask at this point: "When you are riding in a wagon at night, why does it look like the Moon is following you?" Or better: "I know that trees need water but how do they drink?"
This gets them every time!
From "Si Klegg" (fictionalized account of the war written by at least 2 veterans): Si has fallen in a creek while on the march, and enduring the comments of comrades passing by:
""O, Greenland's icy mountains," was all that he could think to say.
The other boys yelled:
"Come on to camp, Si. That's noplace to sit down."
"Feet hurt, Si, and goin' to rest a little?"
"This your day for taking a bath, Si?"
"Thinks this is a political meetin', and he's to take the chair."
"When I sit down, I prefer a log or a rail; but some men's different."
"See a big bass there, Si, an' try to ketch him by settin' down on him?"
"Git up, Si; git up, an' give your seat to some lady."
Then you get the same one said at every event wether it's confed or federal:
Officer say "Fire at will". Someone always responds "Which one is Will?"