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militiaman1835
04-18-2007, 05:59 PM
I am a 49 yr old DWM cw addict and its hard to meet ladies with an interest in history. It would be nice to meet someone with similar interest. Any ideas where to find someone? The on line personals are no help. JIM HENSLEY

ElizabethClark
04-18-2007, 07:00 PM
I'd suggest researching and undertaking a citizen's role, rather than a military one, as it will put you in far closer proximity to women who like history enough to undertake the hobby themselves. :)

SouthernTNBelle
04-18-2007, 08:47 PM
Perhaps attending the saturday evening dance at a re-enactment. If they still hold them. I have not re-enacted in ten years, and currently "re-surfacing". But I know that they use to have dances at most re-enactments, and sometimes ladies do not have dancing partners.
I don't know if your of the dancing sorts, but it could be a good start to find a lady who has your same interest.
In fact, I had met my husband through re-enacting. Although he's not much of the dancing sort.

bizzilizzit
04-19-2007, 09:54 AM
I am a 49 yr old DWM cw addict and its hard to meet ladies with an interest in history. It would be nice to meet someone with similar interest. Any ideas where to find someone? The on line personals are no help. JIM HENSLEY

Attend teas, fashions shows, and dances at events. Attend conferences geared toward civilians. Join a Civil War Roundtable. Visit Gettysburg! Stroll sutler row - offer to carry a lady's bundles (she might not be single, but may know someone who is). Die close to the spectator line where period ladies are sitting/standing - strike up a conversation with them when you are "reborn." We're out there, but if you stay in your military camp, you won't find us!
Elizabeth

tompritchett
04-19-2007, 10:06 AM
Might I suggest the following two old threads:
http://www.cwreenactors.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1775#poststop
http://www.cwreenactors.com/forum/showthread.php?p=11285#poststop

NoahBriggs
04-19-2007, 10:06 AM
You could rinse and repeat. I suspect the thread has faded to the infamous "Barney Purple" by now. 20,000 some-odd views, 51 pages of commentary, of which only about ten have any real use to your question.

http://www.cwreenactors.com/forum/showthread.php?t=503&highlight=single+reenactors

Save yourself the headache. Go civvie. You'll get better results.

tompritchett
04-19-2007, 10:14 AM
You could rinse and repeat. I suspect the thread has faded to the infamous "Barney Purple" by now. 20,000 some-odd views, 51 pages of commentary, of which only about ten have any real use to your question.

http://www.cwreenactors.com/forum/showthread.php?t=503&highlight=single+reenactors

Save yourself the headache. Go civvie. You'll get better results.

Looks like we were searching for the same thread as the same time. :D

hanktrent
04-19-2007, 10:16 AM
Think about what you'll want to be doing with your future wife when you're reenacting with her, then do it at events. She'll be there doing it too.

I met my wife in the field 16 years ago, while I was working as an assistant surgeon and she was volunteering at the hospital as a nurse.

Hank Trent
hanktrent@voyager.net

Micah Trent
04-19-2007, 10:34 AM
You could rinse and repeat. I suspect the thread has faded to the infamous "Barney Purple" by now. 20,000 some-odd views, 51 pages of commentary, of which only about ten have any real use to your question.

http://www.cwreenactors.com/forum/showthread.php?t=503&highlight=single+reenactors

Save yourself the headache. Go civvie. You'll get better results.

Noah..why;)
Just when I thought we wouldn't have to see those threads again...BOOM!...they come back. :roll:
You know...if the mods could've charged money for everytime someone posted on that singles thread...dear Lord, they'd be rich:p

tompritchett
04-19-2007, 10:37 AM
Noah..why
Just when I thought we wouldn't have to see those threads again...BOOM!...they come back.

Remember, the Singles thread is closed for further posts so it is not truly resurrected from the dead. Rather visualize it as being a mummified corpse being put onto display like the Soviets did with Lenin's body.

Micah Trent
04-19-2007, 10:48 AM
Remember, the Singles thread is closed for further posts so it is not truly resurrected from the dead. Rather visualize it as being a mummified corpse being put onto display like the Soviets did with Lenin's body.

Thank goodness! Don't think some of us could've took another round of that going on again...though the singles really ate it up!

NoahBriggs
04-19-2007, 11:16 AM
Looks like we were searching for the same thread as the same time.

Seems like great minds research alike. Metaphorically speaking.

Phew! Put some preservatives on that mummified thread. :rolleyes:

Spinster
04-19-2007, 11:22 AM
Yes, please, keep all that foolishness from cluttering up the thread. Take such corresspondence where it happened in the period---private introductions between known parties of good will.

Jim, your profile does not list where you are from, your unit, nor anything else to check your bonafides. Folks like me (professional busybodies) who occassionally make such introductions won't give a feller the time of day when we have no way of finding out whether he is really is an honest single feller, or an axe murder with 5 wives in 6 states and 4 more buried under the porch.:rolleyes:

Hank and Noah are right--get your self some civilian clothes (good ones--gals don't take up with farbs) and head for civilian events. Its where the real women are. Not the sort of fainting weaklings who fold up at the first sign of hardship, but the hardy sort who will make a good strong life companion. Some of them are single.

And Perryville on the Farm is a right good sized civilian gathering in June that still has openings, and a basic standard you should be able to meet.

RebeccaMI
04-19-2007, 01:18 PM
I'd suggest researching and undertaking a citizen's role, rather than a military one, as it will put you in far closer proximity to women who like history enough to undertake the hobby themselves. :)

Sometimes men aren't allowed to take up civilian roles unless they have some sort of physical disability and aren't able to participate in drills and battles. But our inquisitive friend here could still follow some of the other suggestions, like attending balls. That's where I met my BF. <3

Unfortunately, I think it's just a fact of life that the general public will always find the military more entertaining and be more interested in seeing the battle than watching somebody doing an impression of making candles or washing laundry. And I think that fact disappoints many women and makes them not want to join the hobby. I know I find myself thinking what's the point, if nobody cares? from time to time.

NoahBriggs
04-19-2007, 02:16 PM
Sometimes men aren't allowed to take up civilian roles unless they have some sort of physical disability and aren't able to participate in drills and battles. But our inquisitive friend here could still follow some of the other suggestions, like attending balls.

Balls are fine if you can wade through the cavalry clones to get to the gal. But the former sentence bears a suspicious resemblence to that which comes out a bull's rear end. I have yet to see anything which requires a man a) to be disabled, or b) simulate a physical disability, in order to participate as a civilian. And what about pre- or post-war civilian events? There are plenty of quality events that are civilian-only, or have a heavy emphasis on civilian activity.

Spinster
04-19-2007, 02:55 PM
Unfortunately, I think it's just a fact of life that the general public will always find the military more entertaining and be more interested in seeing the battle than watching somebody doing an impression of making candles or washing laundry. And I think that fact disappoints many women and makes them not want to join the hobby. I know I find myself thinking what's the point, if nobody cares? from time to time.

Miss Rebecca, if you find yourself in this situation frequently, a good question to ask would be: "Am I going to the wrong events?"

RebeccaMI
04-19-2007, 03:14 PM
Miss Rebecca, if you find yourself in this situation frequently, a good question to ask would be: "Am I going to the wrong events?"

It may be the case, but it's pretty much all I have available to me. I don't have the time or money to travel longer distances to attend events that are more correct or have a better balance of civilian and military. It does vary from event to event, but at most of the ones I've attended I'm lucky if I'm among a dozen civilians. And the spectators aren't there to look at us, they are there to see the battle.

It's like in history class in school. I never really found out about the "women's side" of history until I took a women's history class in college. History is taught in terms of wars and winners, not what civilians were doing.

RebeccaMI
04-19-2007, 03:28 PM
The phrase "sometimes men aren't allowed to take up civilian roles unless they have some sort of physical disability and aren't able to participate in drills and battles" bears a suspicious resemblance to that which comes out a bull's rear end.

Believe it, because it happens. I was told by the leader of one group that the male members of the group are not allowed to do civilian impressions, they have to do military impressions. They want to keep the military numbers up so they have as many men as possible in the battle and they don't want to "lose anyone" to civilian roles.

hanktrent
04-19-2007, 03:30 PM
Sometimes men aren't allowed to take up civilian roles unless they have some sort of physical disability and aren't able to participate in drills and battles.

Never heard of such a thing at any reenactment I've attended. I've been able-bodied for 18 years in the hobby, probably more fit than average, and looked draft age for most of them (still do for late-war CS), and have always been allowed to portray a non-combatant if slots for non-combatants are available at an event.

Edited to add: Just saw your reply about your real-life experience. Note the difference: it was a unit, not an event. Units set their own guidelines, but when the rubber hits the road, it's the event, not the unit, that decides who can do what on any given weekend. I've never heard of an event that says all able-bodied men must portray soldiers. A man can either register as an independent, or if everyone needs to be in a unit (rarely a requirement at events I attend), just join a unit that allows male civilians.


Unfortunately, I think it's just a fact of life that the general public will always find the military more entertaining and be more interested in seeing the battle than watching somebody doing an impression of making candles or washing laundry. And I think that fact disappoints many women and makes them not want to join the hobby. I know I find myself thinking what's the point, if nobody cares? from time to time.

Is the problem that the public doesn't care, or that your fellow reenactors don't care either?

If the problem is with the public, I've always said it's relative: The biggest problem in your life may be the neighbor's cow who keeps breaking into your garden. Until the Battle of Gettysburg happens in your backyard, then you forget about the cow.

The secret is to get away from the battle of Gettysburg, and all of a sudden, the cow, the garden, and you, become the most interesting things around. Hence the advice to look for civilian-only events, or military events with a non-battle, civilian-interaction focus.

If the problem is with other reenactors not caring, look for events where civilians are serious about integrating accurate civilian roles in real time with the historic situation being portrayed. The soldiers will care about the battle and military stuff, but the civilians around you will care about you and themselves and how you-all can survive the military occupation together, so you'll be surrounded by some people who care, even if not everyone does.

There are lots and lots of different kinds of events, and I've always been a strong advocate that women's contributions should be given equal importance to men's. If you have specific interests, email me or ask here, and I can suggest some possibilities for events. The only downside is that they may require more travel.

Edited to add: Also just saw your post that traveling isn't an option. Unfortunately, I don't know any area where the events are always better than any other area, so everyone's pretty much stuck attending mainstream events with a c/p/h one once every couple years, or traveling farther to attend more of what they like.

Hank Trent
hanktrent@voyager.net

ElizabethClark
04-19-2007, 04:11 PM
And if the military is that silly and stinky about things, sounds like time's about ripe for a Citizen's Group, open to any and all who want a non-military role. Just because a husband is in a military club doesn't mean the wife has to be there... and citizen groups can attend a different variety of events, or set up for "homefront life demos" at county fairs and town festivals and historic sites... there's just a lot more scope once the folks aren't locked into a 3-battles-a-day situation. It's a hobby, not a religion. The General isn't the Pope, and I don't figure he has the right to tell anyone that they can't do a non-military impression. But, I tend to be a reformist, and don't mind telling authority figures I think their rules are silly. Sorry you're in an area with silliness!

The public is interested in what's going on... even for the non-military stuff. :) I promise. I watched a whopping two battle skirmishes, realized they'd all look alike from there on out, and I've not bothered to spectate another for over 14 years, both in and out of the hobby. Now, citizen stuff? You betcha! MUCH more engaging to me. Sometimes it's a matter of getting the spectators used to seeing something ELSE, so they expect to see it, and come specifically to see it. It starts slow, but tends to snowball.

RebeccaMI
04-19-2007, 04:11 PM
Is the problem that the public doesn't care, or that your fellow reenactors don't care either?

I'm sure some of them don't. I've noticed that there's a faction of reenactors who seem to treat every reenactment like it's basically a camping weekend that happens to have a battle in the middle.

I just try to do the best I can and have the most fun possible with what I have available.

RebeccaMI
04-19-2007, 04:15 PM
Sometimes it's a matter of getting the spectators used to seeing something ELSE, so they expect to see it, and come specifically to see it. It starts slow, but tends to snowball.

I'm hoping you're right. I figure if I get some interesting civilian stuff going on (besides the boring staples like the brogan toss, which I think is silly), maybe people will want to watch. For example, at at least one event this summer, I'm going to do a cartridge-rolling demo and let spectators try it (with pepper standing in for black powder). Then they have 1.) participated in a historic process, and 2.) have something to take home to remember it.

ElizabethClark
04-19-2007, 04:43 PM
That's a good idea... you could also tie in a 15-second "fact highlights" blurb about women working in munitions factories during the war, which would be cool.

I've never even heard of a brogan toss. Do I want to know? :)

Are the citizens set up in a prominent spot? Do spectators avoid the area because of a desire to not intrude, not knowing that you're "open for business?" Would signs posted saying, "Homefront Demonstrations This Way" help? Are citizen demos listed in the event program that spectators get?

Are there independent quilt shops in your area? If there are, that means there are quilters. Having a community quilt on will draw them. You might even work with local quilt guilds to do a mini-quilt show, showcasing guild member's work in the area of historic repro style quilts (pieced and applique')... this will work best for a one-day-only display, with the guild taking things away that night, so you have fewer security issues with storing others' quilts.

Do kids come by? School stuff can be fun. Spelling bees, patriotic poem recitation, songs... lots of stuff for the spectator to watch, and it all signals that you're there to BE watched, and talked to.

I know a lot of spectators can be uncertain whether you're a "demo", or just a private person camping, so sometimes they need HUGE clues. :)

coastaltrash
04-19-2007, 07:47 PM
Miss Rebecca, if you find yourself in this situation frequently, a good question to ask would be: "Am I going to the wrong events?"

I know I hear "where are all the civilians at" when taters approach the military.:roll:

cookiemom
04-19-2007, 10:34 PM
Might I suggest the following two old threads:
http://www.cwreenactors.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1775#poststop
http://www.cwreenactors.com/forum/showthread.php?p=11285#poststop
We've been having our fun elsewhere, but we could always come back... ;)

[Time to duck -- I hear incoming...]

Ma

MargaretO'Grady
04-20-2007, 06:57 AM
You mean leave the protection of our little Singles Group?? :shock: Ma, that's a very scary thought. Better to lure them to the singles' dark side, I say.....;)

cookiemom
04-20-2007, 07:11 AM
You mean leave the protection of our little Singles Group?? :shock: Ma, that's a very scary thought. Better to lure them to the singles' dark side, I say.....;)
"Come into my parlor," said the spider to the fly... ????? :twisted: :rolleyes:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACWreenactor_singles/

KarinTimour
04-21-2007, 07:55 AM
Dear Rebecca:

You've gotten a lot of good suggestions about ways to improve your immediate surroundings.

Returning for a minute to the issues of not being able to travel to better events for civilians -- where are you located? What state and region of the state -- you don't have to give us your exact town. Your screen name seems to imply that you're from or live in Michigan? As Hank mentioned, most civilian interpreters are scattered over the country, so most of us have had to get creative when figuring out how to experience the side of reenacting we want to show.

There may be civilian-only events that are quite near to you or within a short bus ride if you don't have a car or can't drive, but you never hear about them because your sources of information are limited.

I'll join with Mrs. Clark in saying that in 8 years of reenacting I've never even heard of a "brogan toss."

You'd be amazed the potential that opens up once you're connected with the other civilians in your area . There may be a gracious plenty of more authentically minded ("history heavy") civilians living pretty close around you. If you could connect up with them, you could plan your own fun at times and places that are convenient.

Doesn't mean you have to turn your back on your current group -- but chances are that they're not reenacting 52 weekends a year, and you could easily fit some more enjoyable experiences into your available time.

Sincerely,
Karin Timour
Period Knitting -- Socks, Sleeping Hats, Balaclavas
Warm. Durable. Documented.
Come see me at McDowell in May -- I'll have the "sock line" with me.
Atlantic Guard Soldiers' Aid Society
Email: Ktimour@aol.com

queenoftheconfederacy
04-21-2007, 09:33 PM
Speaking as a single woman, go to the dances!!! I cant stress that enough! And dance at the dances, dont be shy if you dont know how to or think you arent any good, trust me, the women will notice you trying. At the last dance I went to, I had to nearly pull the chair out from under the men to dance with the ladies without partners. And dont let the young guys take all the good ones, be the first to ask a lady to dance, ask her for her hand or something, dont just make it seem yall are getting stuck together because neither of yall have anyone else. Another suggestion, dont just sit in your tent in your camp the whole time, get out and socialize! Walk around to other groups and gathered people and talk and introduce yourself. Bow to the ladies, tip your hat, kiss their hands, bring them refreshments, those things always get to me, I mean every lady loves being treated with the old gentle manners that are gone from today, I know I do!:cool:

RebeccaMI
04-23-2007, 06:31 PM
Where are you located?

Yes, I am in Michigan. You're right, I won't say what town, but it's in the southwest part.

Part of the problem is that I don't always have a Saturday and Sunday available to attend reenactments because of my part-time job at the church. (My sweetheart would tell me I should just quit it, but I want to be saving up for a down-payment on a house someday and so that extra few hundred a month is nice, IMO.) So the farther away a reenactment is, the less sense it makes for me to go there unless I can stay the whole weekend. I already don't know how many of the 6-8 events I committed to I will actually be able to attend for both days.


There may be civilian-only events that are quite near to you or within a short bus ride if you don't have a car or can't drive, but you never hear about them because your sources of information are limited.

I'm not sure how to go about finding out about them either. I guess I could see if the local Civil War Round Table has any info. But I do like the events where there are civilians and military... I like the mix.


I'll join with Mrs. Clark in saying that in 8 years of reenacting I've never even heard of a "brogan toss."

It's not always a brogan; sometimes it's a frying pan or something else. You get a group of civilians (usually ladies, because I've never seen more than a handful of civilian men at any event) together and the one who can throw the object the farthest (probably best out of 3 tries or something) wins some prize. This is the idea of a civilian event at many reenactments I've been to. :roll:

Knowing that, you can see how much room for improvement I have!

Bummer
05-08-2007, 03:33 PM
Ah, I HAVE seen the fry pan throw event...I too was mystified about the brogan toss, but all makes sense now.

LaurieE
05-11-2007, 08:02 AM
In addition to going to the dances, you should also visit the authentic civilian camps.

xamier
05-15-2007, 06:59 PM
Hi:
I used to go to local events every month or so. I came to realize that I am a lot happier going to one or two high quality events that may be a long way away. I save my money and vacation towards the one or two events and spend the rest of my time working on my impression and learning period crafts.
Betty Morgan
Winston Free State
Citronelle, AL
xamier@bellsouth.net

RedkepiWA
08-19-2007, 06:21 PM
My name is Pat Hillock and I live in Yuma, AZ and I would love to meet a lady who enjoys reenacting. I am 49 and will post pics and what nots here as I get more organized. I just joined a few days ago.

So all complaints of how bad this activity is, if you have an interest in it, we could make it fun together!

Pat Hillock of the Washington Artillery N.O.

PS I am going to Gettysburg in 2008 and think it would be better than kittens to have a Lady Fare to go with.

cookiemom
08-19-2007, 07:35 PM
My name is Pat Hillock and I live in Yuma, AZ and I would love to meet a lady who enjoys reenacting. I am 49 and will post pics and what nots here as I get more organized. I just joined a few days ago.

So all complaints of how bad this activity is, if you have an interest in it, we could make it fun together!

Pat Hillock of the Washington Artillery N.O.

PS I am going to Gettysburg in 2008 and think it would be better than kittens to have a Lady Fare to go with.
Hi, Pat!
If you haven't already done so, you might enjoy reading two earlier threads on this forum: "Reenactor Singles" and "Soldiers & Ladies."
Many of the frequent posters on those threads can now be found acting up at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACWreenactor_singles

I invite you to join us there. Just tell them "Ma" sent you. :wink:
[Anyone else who might be interested is also invited to come visit...]

Several of the group members have begun to meet each other at places such as Gettysburg and Pamplin Park, and at the McDowell event last May.
The ladies are always looking for dancing partners...