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Frenchie
12-04-2006, 06:45 PM
A friend of a friend in Florida sent this:

A North Carolina redneck passed away and left his entire estate in trust, consisting of a 1982 Ford pickup, a Remington shotgun, 6 1/2 books of Green Stamps and $18.37 due from the mill for his last week's work to his beloved, grieving widow. However, she can't touch it until she turns 14.

Folks in Georgia now go to some movies in groups of 18 or more. They were told 17 and under are not admitted.

The minimum drinking age in Tennessee has been raised to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

In Mississippi, reruns of "Hee Haw" are called documentaries.

How can you tell if a West Virginia redneck is married? There's dried tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.

Arkansas has a new $3,000,000 State Lottery. The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

Recently, the Governor's Mansion in Little Rock burned down. In fact, it took out the whole trailer park.

The best thing to ever come out of Arkansas is Interstate 40. (Arkansas has an interstate?)

An Alabama State Trooper stopped a pickup truck. He asked the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver said, "'Bout what?"

flattop32355
12-04-2006, 08:06 PM
Get ready for the Yankee jokes.

John1862
12-04-2006, 09:13 PM
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware

Maryland: If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us

Frenchie
12-04-2006, 10:31 PM
Get ready for the Yankee jokes.

I can't wait! I'm a Red Sox fan! :D


Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

That's just one of many reasons I'm moving back to Virginia! :cool:

toptimlrd
12-04-2006, 10:33 PM
Why is it.....................

I see plenty of license plates from above the Mason Dixon line in the deep south but rarely do I see southern plates up North?

Most of the cars parked at the roadside swamp tour and alligator wrastlin show are from New York? (By the way, that's Bubba's dog painted green)

The South is known for hospitality and the North is known for???????

So many Northerners retire to the South but you never hear of a Southerner retiring to Bangor?

and........

How do you know if a car is from up north? When it hits a speed bump the Bondo falls out.

Frenchie
12-04-2006, 10:48 PM
More jokes, Bob! Just bashing is not allowed in my thread! ;)

Washington, DC: Northern charm, Southern efficiency.

Frenchie
12-04-2006, 10:58 PM
The Boston Red Sox Suck Jokes
Taken from SoxSuck.com.

(These were shamelessly stolen. There are somethings that are too funny not to share.)

(October 15th, 2004 Update - A Red Sox fan angrily wrote in about these jokes. After calling me a couple of choice names, he mentioned that these jokes were old and merely substituted team names for Yankees and Red Sox. I, of course, responded with only the date of 1918 and refused to sink to his level. However, he did have a point. The jokes were not really unique to the Red Sox. So, I've added a few that are. Enjoy.)

(October 17th, 2004 Update - Due to an overwhelming demand on Red Sox Suck Jokes. I've composed some more (yes, the first few were mine). This is great especially after the falling apart of the Red Sox last night.)

(October 28th, 2004 Update - Holy Cow!!! They actually won one! I offer my sincerest congratulations to the Red Sox and their fans. You guys deserve to bask in the lime light for a brief moment. You won 8 games in a row post season and showed persistence in the face of long time misery. This is from a Yankee fan. So when reading these jokes, look at them from a historical view. Enjoy. The curse did not raise its head this year and the trend has been broken from 1918.)

Q: What do Derek Lowe's pitching and a spiderweb have in common?
A: One hit and they fall apart.

Q: Why is the monster green?
A: Envy from Yankee wins.

Q: Why does Stephen King go to Red Sox Games?
A: He likes horror stories.

Q: What's the difference between the Boston Red Sox and the Boston Strangler?
A: One chokes only in October.

Q: Why can't the Red Sox count backward from 20?
A: They stop after 1918

Q: What's the free give-away on Ted Williams Day at Fenway?
A: Ice Pops

Banes of Boston:
Babe
Bucky
Buckner
Boone

Q: Why did Fenway Park build seats over the Green Monster?
A: So Bucky Dent could find his home run balls.

Q: Why is a paternity test never necessary for Pedro Martinez's parents?
A: Because everyone knows who "Pedro's Daddy" is.

Q: What's the difference between a Titanic survivor and an attendee of the last Red Sox World Series win?
A: You may still be able to find a living Titanic survivor.

Q: What do Trot Nixon and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They both wear a glove on their right hand for no apparent reason!

Q: What do the Red Sox and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold and end up in the cellar after Labor Day!


---
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Boston Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Red Sox fans, too.

Not really knowing what a Red Sox fan was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Red Sox fan."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan.", boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Yankees fan.

"Well, My Dad and Mom are Yankees fans, and I'm a Yankees fan, too!"

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."

---

Q: What is the difference between a Fenway Frank and a Yankee Frank?
A: You can get a Yankee Frank in October!


---
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler.

Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

---

---
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The man answers, "241."

"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The lady answers, "144."

"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!".

Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The person answers, "51."

Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,"GO RED SOX"!!

---

---
There were two men, one was a Red Sox fan and the other was a Yankees fan.

These men were both madly in love with the same woman. So the woman challenged that whichever man does a better job at having sex with her would be her boyfriend.

Both men accepted the challenge.

That night, the woman had sex with the Red Sox fan and then the other night had sex with the Yankees fan. The next day the woman chose the Yankees fan to be her boyfriend.

Shocked and outraged, the Red Sox fan asked why she didn't choose him.

She replied by saying, "You, like your team, not only come up short but always finish early!"

---


Did you hear the Red Sox are moving to the Phillipines?
They are going to be called the Manila Folders!

tompritchett
12-04-2006, 11:38 PM
In Arkansas what do a divorce and a tornado have in common?

Someone is going to lose a trailer.


What happens when you get 6 or more West Virginia women in the same room together?

You get a full set of teeth.



What is the difference between a University of Tennessee cheerleader and a sack of trash?

The sack of trash get taken out once a week.

huntdaw
12-05-2006, 01:22 AM
Found these and thought they were pretty good.

You're from up North if:

you think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons

How to annoy a Yankee:

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

2. Pronounce all one-syllable words as if they had two syllables.

3. When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses them no end!

4. Talk REAL slow, and (even when you hear them the first time) always ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

7. Refer to every soft drink as a "Coke."

8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

9. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie, John Michael, Jim Bob, etc. . . .)

11. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

12. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "Pah-kahn" not "Pee-can".

14. Put Tabasco on everything.

15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!", say "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies . . . preferably the banana ones.

17. Name all of your children "Bubba".

18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.

19. "Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights. "Carry" the kids to school. Always remember (especially in Texas) it's not a "pond", it's a "tank."

20. Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin' to do" something.

21. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations . . . Offends the devil out of 'em.

23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP.

Anyway, turn right there . . . " "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . "

24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

25. Call 'em a yankee. Works every time!

tompritchett
12-05-2006, 08:50 AM
And when they start to get real uppity, remind them that they are in the part of the South where it is not until high school when people learn to cuss that they learn D*mn-Yankee is actually two words.

BTW, you left out SEC basketball (the only conference in the last decade to have every team make at least one week in the basketball top 20 poll). It and the ACC are both far superior to that wimp conference they have up here - Big East (take away U.C. and what do you have left). Now in the MidWest where Northerners act more like civilized Southerners, they do have the Big-Ten. But that is because those teams got so tired of getting slaughtered by University of Kentucky and Indiana that they decided that they better learn how to play some other sport besides football.

sbl
12-05-2006, 10:02 PM
I swear that when I was contracting in Manchester, Georgia I could pass a local in the hallway (walking the same way), do what I set out to do on the other side of the plant and pass that local on the way back, still on his way.

So there was a method to it.

RebelBugler
12-30-2006, 02:12 AM
Can we please show a little respect for Maryland? ....after all, it was in Baltimore that the first Yankee casualties of the war occurred. The majority of native Marylanders supported the South. Maryland is South of the Mason-Dixon line and, after all, how many other Southern states have official state songs with lyrics "Huzza! she spurns the Northern scum!" Why even Francis Key Howard, grandson of our National anthem composer Francis Scott Key, was illegally imprisoned at Ft. McHenry for his support of the Southern Cause.

sbl
12-30-2006, 08:03 AM
Reb,

There was also a Marylander from Middletown, MD. who sent Daughter of the Regiment (1st Rhode Island Detached Militia) Kady Brownell a United States Flag after her unit marched though there in May 1861. (pension Files, National Archives)

Was Middletown a loyal area?

"Huzza! she spurns the Northern scum!" My son (4 oe 5 at the time) asked if WE were "Northern Scum" when he heard this song.

bob 125th nysvi
01-02-2007, 04:01 PM
Why is it.....................

I see plenty of license plates from above the Mason Dixon line in the deep south but rarely do I see southern plates up North?.

1) Their not allowed. Only people who can read and write are allowed to use our highway systems.



Most of the cars parked at the roadside swamp tour and alligator wrastlin show are from New York? (By the way, that's Bubba's dog painted green).

2) They're drug mules making their pickup from a SA connection. Notice those boys don't try direct drops into the NorthEast because our cops are smarter than your cops (Like how many NYC cops does it take to subdue an arrestee? None he tripped down the stairs.)



The South is known for hospitality and the North is known for???????.

3) When you got nothing to do but lounge around and sweat all day you can be hospitable. The rest of us have to keep the economy/country running.



So many Northerners retire to the South but you never hear of a Southerner retiring to Bangor?.

4) We're just shipping you our geezers. You've got to have some way to earn a living. And again, southern retirees can't pass the literacy requirements.



and........

How do you know if a car is from up north? When it hits a speed bump the Bondo falls out.

5) Ahem ... those are the cars from the neighbor hoods that vote democrat.

And on an international note.... I still think we should have made the Germans keep France in 1945 as punishment for starting two world wars.

Bob Sandusky
Co C 125th NYSVI
Esperance, NY

toptimlrd
01-02-2007, 08:29 PM
Bob,


"1) Their not allowed. Only people who can read and write are allowed to use our highway systems."

Unfortunately they can't read the drivers manuals. (By the way that should be they're, not their)


"2) They're drug mules making their pickup from a SA connection. Notice those boys don't try direct drops into the NorthEast because our cops are smarter than your cops (Like how many NYC cops does it take to subdue an arrestee? None he tripped down the stairs.)"


It takes one in the South since we actually let them use that hardware on their hip.

"3) When you got nothing to do but lounge around and sweat all day you can be hospitable. The rest of us have to keep the economy/country running."

Fine as long as y'all keep paying our lovely tourist taxes every time you visit. There is working hard, then there is working smart, then there is working hard and smart. By the way the last I heard all those jobs in the rust belt were being shipped overseas weren't they? I wonder why companies like Mercedes is building plants in the south now?

"4) We're just shipping you our geezers. You've got to have some way to earn a living. And again, southern retirees can't pass the literacy requirements."

Now come on, we have our share of doctors and lawyers and such, it's just that we can't keep the most ignorant among us off the television after every natural disaster. It's never the lawyer on the TV after the bad tornado, it's the lady in the mumu standing outside of what was her trailer saying "it was pandelirium" (thanks to Jeff Foxworthy for that one). (Of course she is probably one of the Northern retirees that moved down here)

"5) Ahem ... those are the cars from the neighbor hoods that vote democrat."

I hate to bring politics up but..........I thought all the neighborhoods voted democrat up there, at least that's what the media wants us to believe.

"And on an international note.... I still think we should have made the Germans keep France in 1945 as punishment for starting two world wars."

No argument here, even though I do like the French countryside (yep a southern boy who has been outside of the South).

All in good fun everyone :-)

bob 125th nysvi
01-05-2007, 02:01 PM
Now come on, we have our share of doctors and lawyers and such, it's just that we can't keep the most ignorant among us off the television after every natural disaster. It's never the lawyer on the TV after the bad tornado, it's the lady in the mumu standing outside of what was her trailer saying "it was pandelirium" (thanks to Jeff Foxworthy for that one). (Of course she is probably one of the Northern retirees that moved down here)

I hate to bring politics up but..........I thought all the neighborhoods voted democrat up there, at least that's what the media wants us to believe.

See we ELECT or lawyers and doctors to political office so we have to see them all the time.

Prevents them from doing something REALLY dangerous, like Doctoring and Lawyering.

The lady in the mumu is probably their mom.

And if she was from the north it would be "it was you know like pandermoanium, HEY YOU GOT A PROBLEM I'M TALKING HERE!"

The media wants all the people in those neighborhoods to vote democrat so things STAY screwed up here in NY and the people in those neighborhoods can't make enough money to move into the nice neighborhoods (where the journalists live).

(Bi-lingual education - a liberal's way of making sure only white people live in his neighborhood. A quote from my mother a Kennedy Democrat.)

Nah NY is pretty solidly rural Republican, urban Democrat and suburban mixed depending on their taxes. The higher the taxes go the more republican they vote.

Don't your KNOW that NY government was described the MOST disfunctional government in the nation. And the report WAS being charitable.

Cheers to all and remember 2008 is your chance to make Hillary YOUR political leader too!

Bob Sandusky
Co C 125th NYSVI
Esperance, NY

Malingerer
01-05-2007, 02:33 PM
Bob,
If New York is so intolerable we always have room for a few more yankees here in western North Carolina - just be sure not to go around telling everyone here "how you do things up north" - we really dont care.

Peter Julius,
Bryson City, NC

bob 125th nysvi
01-05-2007, 03:29 PM
Bob,
If New York is so intolerable we always have room for a few more yankees here in western North Carolina - just be sure not to go around telling everyone here "how you do things up north" - we really dont care.

Peter Julius,
Bryson City, NC

Where I live it ain't too different from western NC. Beautiful mountains, large forests, agricultural communities and a Wal-Mart Supercenter.

Sorry everything south of Philly has one thing I can't take, well two, heat and humidity.

Thanks for the invite but ahhh no. Head'en farther north when I retire maybe sooner.

Bob Sandusky
Co C 125th NYSVI
Esperance, NY

tompritchett
01-08-2007, 10:55 PM
What is the definition of a sophisticated Ozark couple?

A bride and groom that both wore shoes to their wedding.

How do you know if you are a true Pennsylvania hunter?

You wear camoflauge to your sister's wedding.

toptimlrd
01-08-2007, 11:38 PM
[U]How do you know if you are a true Pennsylvania hunter?

You wear camoflauge to your sister's wedding.

With a deer in the bed of your pickup.

Graves Mercantile
01-09-2007, 06:36 AM
Just a quick note. I grew up in NY and moved to kentucky for three years. Both places had their positives and negatives, but I CHOSE to move back to NY. Be closer to family, better jobs, running water, indoor plumbing, etc.,

New York has the distinction of being a City-State. Everyone assumes the entire state is made up of NYC. In fact more than 67% of the land mass in New York state is agricultural or woodlands. We also have the largest forest preserve in America. The beautiful Adirondacks. You can keep the smokey's and the Ozarks. I've seen them both and the Adirondacks are the best in the world.

Still love the south, but I love New York more disfunctions, hillary and all.

tompritchett
01-09-2007, 09:43 AM
With a deer in the bed of your pickup.

Depends upon the season. Could be a turkey also. Or is that at the altar waiting for your sister? And we won't even go intoi who could be the bear. :)

Trooper Graham
01-09-2007, 10:48 AM
Everyone assumes the entire state is made up of NYC. In fact more than 67% of the land mass in New York state is agricultural or woodlands.




.

My family made a trip from Illinois up to Castine Maine when I was about thirteen. While driving through New York (state) I was taking in the countryside riding along the interstate. All of a sudden the interstate seemed like it stopped. We dropped down into Cherry Valley. The memory is still with me as if it was yesterday. Up-state New York is breath taking. So is all of New England when your away from the cities. (except for Joysee)

MargaretO'Grady
01-09-2007, 11:15 AM
Up-state New York is breath taking. So is all of New England when your away from the cities. (except for Joysee)

As a former resident of the so-called "armpit of America", I'm going to take offense for that last statement. I've been all over the state, driven from tip to tip numerous times for a whole bunch of reasons. Try hiking through the parks in Ramsey, wandering through the Pine Barrens with just basic gear, sunning on secluded public beaches at the shore or random trips through farm country-Jersey Style. And bagels from anywhere else are just horrid, horrid I tell you!! Our graduating class' slogan is "We're from Jersey...and we don't like you either!" We even have strange possibly misplaced pride hehe

Most importantly, you can understand us when we talk. I've been to the South, and conversation is near impossible without a translator :D

Trooper Graham
01-09-2007, 02:36 PM
As a former resident of the so-called "armpit of America", I'm going to take offense for that last statement. I've been all over the state, driven from tip to tip numerous times for a whole bunch of reasons. Try hiking through the parks in Ramsey, wandering through the Pine Barrens with just basic gear, sunning on secluded public beaches at the shore or random trips through farm country-Jersey Style. And bagels from anywhere else are just horrid, horrid I tell you!! Our graduating class' slogan is "We're from Jersey...and we don't like you either!" We even have strange possibly misplaced pride hehe

Most importantly, you can understand us when we talk. I've been to the South, and conversation is near impossible without a translator :D

I will admit that I have not seen the whole entire state of New Jersey. One half that I visited was part of NYC and the other half I visited was part of Philadelphia. Although as I traveled further west the beauty of Pennsylvania started having influence upon the NJ countryside. I suppose if I would have been born there I still would have joined the military to get out like I did my own state.

MargaretO'Grady
01-09-2007, 03:36 PM
Ah, Mr. Graham, you are well versed in the realistic geography and sociopolitical boundaries of the state then ;)

Chances are, probably yes. Born and raised and still had to escape....to Montgomery County. The MD equivalent to where I grew up. ARGH!!!! Hence my horror and insult is only halfhearted, token resistance if you will :D Although I still wish I could go back to Stone Harbor and the infamous Nuns' Mansion, the beaches were gorgeous!

Mojo1842
01-09-2007, 11:15 PM
What is the definition of a sophisticated Ozark couple?

A bride and groom that both wore shoes to their wedding.




Where my family is from in Kentucky, a sophisticated couple means that neither of them arrived at their wedding in a coal truck.

tompritchett
01-10-2007, 05:40 AM
Where my family is from in Kentucky, a sophisticated couple means that neither of them arrived at their wedding in a coal truck.

you mean back where everything you supposedly needed from life could be bought at the company store. :) My family came from the other end of the state where the coal companies took it first from underneath you and then strip-mined the rest.

Rob Weaver
01-10-2007, 07:25 AM
As a former resident of the so-called "armpit of America", I'm going to take offense for that last statement. I've been all over the state, driven from tip to tip numerous times for a whole bunch of reasons. Try hiking through the parks in Ramsey, wandering through the Pine Barrens with just basic gear, sunning on secluded public beaches at the shore or random trips through farm country-Jersey Style. And bagels from anywhere else are just horrid, horrid I tell you!! Our graduating class' slogan is "We're from Jersey...and we don't like you either!" We even have strange possibly misplaced pride hehe

Most importantly, you can understand us when we talk. I've been to the South, and conversation is near impossible without a translator :D

I was surprised the first time I drove through NJ at how much of the state is rural. They actually have COWS there! It was very humbling.

MStuart
01-10-2007, 07:33 AM
Most importantly, you can understand us when we talk. I've been to the South, and conversation is near impossible without a translator :D

Fagetaboudit!!!

Mark

Had to

LadyReb
01-10-2007, 08:27 AM
People say New Yorkers can't get along and won't share cabs. This is not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine and the bumpers.

tompritchett
01-10-2007, 11:48 AM
One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine and the bumpers.

One of my fondest memories of when I lived in the Bronx was seeing a bunch of city workers in uniform stripping a car on the Pelham Parkway. The other was two cabs in an accident in Harlem because one wanted to get a jump on the light and the other was speeding through to avoid having to stop. Did like the Thousand Islands area and the Finger Lakes region when visiting there.

LadyReb
01-10-2007, 12:50 PM
More years ago than I care to remember we were being driven across a bridge in NYC - it has been too long to remember where in NYC. At the end of the bridge was a '57 Chevy sedan apparently broken down. One hour later we came back going in the other direction and it was completely stripped.

MStuart
01-10-2007, 01:11 PM
Returning to the good 'ol USA from a 3 year assignment in Germany, we arrived at JFK and were met by the "car service" which we entrusted with picking up our car and storing it until we got back stateside. Anyone who has had a long tour overseas military assignment where you were allowed to ship a vehicle knows what I'm talking about. Things went very smoothly as our 'ol Nissan was there and ready. My lovely bride and I packed in our luggage, son, and dog and headed west to the 'burgh for some leave time......right smack dab through the south Bronx!! At rush hour, or so we thought. Talk about the proverbial "bad neighborhood"...........you have no idea. Had my pants caught on fire, I don't think I would have gotten out of the car.

Mark

LadyReb
01-10-2007, 01:55 PM
That is the way I feel about north Tulsa.

tompritchett
01-10-2007, 05:16 PM
the south Bronx!!

During 1980 my wife worked at St. Barnardus (sp?) hospital which was on the each of the Bronx's Little Italy and the Jungel, for no better description. Literally some of the buildings looked like they were the aftermath of WWII bombing raid. The big thing was for the little kids to steal your batteries and, if you left your car overnight, their older siblings would take the rest. I think we had at least 3 batteries stolen over a 15 month period with the last two being stolen with a hood lock installed.

Have numerous memories of that area including missing the entrance for the Bruckner coming back from Manhatten after midnight. It took me about 5 minutes of driving throught worst area before we were able to get back on the highway. I had a piece of tire iron next to me and my wife was holding the ice pick I keep in the glove compartment. My next door nieghbor was a recovering herion addict on methadone. During the whole period we lived there, I only saw him fully straight/sober twice. Her co-worker got 2 or 3 parking tickets while her car was in the impound lot for double parking.

My wife's initial impression of the New York City and New Jersey was so bad after those 15 months (we had been married only 4 weeks when we moved from Ky to NYC), that she nearly divorced me when 6 years later I took a job In New Jersey that greatly advanced my career - forcing us to move from the Denver Area. It took her over 6 months before she fully forgave me.


Mark, you were wise to keep on going and get the H*** out of Dodge as quickly as possible.

MStuart
01-14-2007, 12:25 PM
Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.
--------------------------------

Disingenuously submitted because I don't think The Chairman or Liza have ever been to the South Bronx..........

Mark

Mojo1842
01-14-2007, 10:40 PM
Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.
--------------------------------

Disingenuously submitted because I don't think The Chairman or Liza have ever been to the South Bronx..........

Mark

Mark, I'm not sure if that was brilliant satire or raging insanity...

MStuart
01-14-2007, 10:56 PM
Mark, I'm not sure if that was brilliant satire or raging insanity...

Then I believe my work here is done :-)

Mark

CivilWarBuff1863
01-15-2007, 02:53 AM
More years ago than I care to remember we were being driven across a bridge in NYC - it has been too long to remember where in NYC. At the end of the bridge was a '57 Chevy sedan apparently broken down. One hour later we came back going in the other direction and it was completely stripped.

That's some parts of NYC for ya. You leave for about a few hours and find your car on cinder blocks, totally stripped to the frame. That's what I keep on hearing so I'd rather not go to NYC and leave my car (if i had one) parked somewhere.

micaila
01-15-2007, 07:33 PM
I have just moved from NYC, and while much of this is still the case, you would be amazed at the number of Hummers and Escalades seen parked, on the street mind you, in the Spanish Harlem, S. Bronx area my S.O. used to work in. The humorous part in all this being that the owners could afford either the car or the space in a garage, but not both.
Micaila

Ephraim_Zook
01-17-2007, 01:50 PM
Up-state New York is breath taking. So is all of New England when your away from the cities. (except for Joysee)

Ah, but neither NY nor NJ are New England states. Indeed, if the Mason-Dixon Line had been extended farther east instead of taking a 90 degree turn down through Maryland, the lower 25% or so of New Jersey would be below it. So those folks in beautiful beach country of NJ have an almost-legitimate claim that they live in "Dixie's Land".

http://www.masondixononline.com/logo-map.jpg

bizzilizzit
01-17-2007, 04:49 PM
Get ready for the Yankee jokes.

Well, here it is:

Little Rock Arkansas True Democrat (newspaper) Jan. 14, 1863 - pg.1, col. 4

Among the many dispatches by the grapevine line, to the Chattanooga Rebel, we clip the following:
"A late dispatch from Nashville, states that the Yankee soldiers have abandoned the custom of combing their heads - consequently vermin is on the increase in the Yankee camp. An insect of doubtful name, and of unusually large size, was discovered in that city the other day with a U. S. marked on its back and a canteen swung around it's neck."

Elizabeth

Mojo1842
01-18-2007, 09:02 PM
Ah, but neither NY nor NJ are New England states. Indeed, if the Mason-Dixon Line had been extended farther east instead of taking a 90 degree turn down through Maryland, the lower 25% or so of New Jersey would be below it. So those folks in beautiful beach country of NJ have an almost-legitimate claim that they live in "Dixie's Land".

http://www.masondixononline.com/logo-map.jpg


Good point Ron...and also had it been extended further west, Cincinnati might well have been the queen city of the south. Hey wait a minute, my present location would've been in dixie's land also. THAT explains why this town has so many....nope, ain't goin' there....

jda3rd
01-23-2007, 11:13 PM
Why is it.....................

So many Northerners retire to the South but you never hear of a Southerner retiring to Bangor?




One can only assume you've never visited Bangor, Alabama, on the lovely Mulberry River.

Frank Brower

Union Navy
01-24-2007, 10:38 AM
When I lived in Charleston, SC, I visited a lot of pawn shops (many good things sold by the navy base/shipyard workers during hard times). Having an aptitude for languages and accents, I began to pick up the local accent, which I found useful on pawn shop visits. It turns out I got a better deal on tools if I used my Charleston accent than if I was obviously an Ohio Yankee. Forget, ****!
Also visited a local lady's home where she had one of P. G. T. Beauregard's swords hanging over her fireplace. And what a fine collection of artillery in Battery Park.

toptimlrd
01-24-2007, 11:21 PM
One can only assume you've never visited Bangor, Alabama, on the lovely Mulberry River.

Frank Brower


LOL. I grew up on the Georgia side of the GA / AL line, and I didn't even think about Bangor AL (was thinking of Bangor Maine). Now I'll call the GA / AL truce before those jokes start flying. :-)

bizzilizzit
01-25-2007, 12:31 PM
Ah, but neither NY nor NJ are New England states. Indeed, if the Mason-Dixon Line had been extended farther east instead of taking a 90 degree turn down through Maryland, the lower 25% or so of New Jersey would be below it. So those folks in beautiful beach country of NJ have an almost-legitimate claim that they live in "Dixie's Land".

http://www.masondixononline.com/logo-map.jpg

As a former Jersite, I concur! I'm from North Jersey and, belive me, the lifestyle, clothing, speech, and even accents of South Jersey are VERY different. After all, South Jesery is the home of the Jersey Devil - do you think us "Northerners" would fall for such fairy tale?
And, technically, NJ & NY ARE New Enland states.
Elizabeth

jthlmnn
01-26-2007, 06:03 PM
"And, technically, NJ & NY ARE New Enland states"

Uh, nope. They are Middle Atlantic States. The New England States are Connecticut, Maine, Mass., New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont.
You must now stay after school and clean the erasers.

Marie21stOVI
02-05-2007, 02:09 PM
To the rest of the world a Yankee is an American.

In the United States a Yankee is someone from the North.

In the North a Yankee is someone from New England.

In New England a Yankee is someone from Vermont.

In Vermont a Yankee is someone without indoor plumbing.

Spare_Man
02-07-2007, 10:08 AM
To the rest of the world a Yankee is an American.

In the United States a Yankee is someone from the North.

In the North a Yankee is someone from New England.

In New England a Yankee is someone from Vermont.

In Vermont a Yankee is someone without indoor plumbing.And here I thought a Yankee was somebody on George Steinbrenner's payroll.:-|

flattop32355
02-07-2007, 10:30 AM
And here I thought a Yankee was somebody on George Steinbrenner's payroll.:-|

No, those are called mercenaries.

sbl
02-07-2007, 12:27 PM
http://www.yankeessuckgear.com/photogallery/photo16119/YANKEES-SUCK-sticker.jpg

sbl
02-07-2007, 02:03 PM
http://www.rainfall.com/posters/images/Theatrical/0298r.jpg

(Those are Lobsters)

Mojo1842
02-07-2007, 04:22 PM
http://www.rainfall.com/posters/images/Theatrical/0298r.jpg

(Those are Lobsters)

Those are indeed lobsters...

Actually those are lobsters to be envied

flattop32355
02-07-2007, 06:53 PM
Those are indeed lobsters...
Actually those are lobsters to be envied

And all this time, I thought they were Texas crawdads!

sbl
02-07-2007, 07:02 PM
http://imagesource.allposters.com/images/pic/GLO/FAR00020~Vintage-Fresh-Lobster-Posters.jpg

tompritchett
02-08-2007, 06:11 PM
And all this time, I thought they were Texas crawdads!

There was this Texan who always used to brag about how everything was so much bigger in Texas. One day he was bragging this way in a group when an Okkie spoke up that he used knew a Texan who was too big to be buried.

Everyone turned around at this and asked him how they were ultimately able to bury this Texan since he was so big.

The Okkie responded "Oh, they pricked him with a pen to let all the hot air out, and then buried him in a shoe box."

5thNYcavalry
02-11-2007, 11:36 PM
"And, technically, NJ & NY ARE New Enland states"

Uh, nope. They are Middle Atlantic States. The New England States are Connecticut, Maine, Mass., New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont.
You must now stay after school and clean the erasers.
then what would that make NC? THAT is a Middle Atlantic state.... It's the middle of the coast. I live in NY and consider it New England... not Middle Atlantic...

jthlmnn
02-12-2007, 09:38 AM
then what would that make NC? THAT is a Middle Atlantic state.... It's the middle of the coast. I live in NY and consider it New England... not Middle Atlantic...

North Carolina is a Southern Atlantic State, along with Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Maryland, South Carolina, Virginia and West Virginia. Source: U.S. Census Bureau. Social studies texts have been using the same designations/assignations for the past 50 years (personal experience) and, quite likely, long before that (extrapolation).

Whether you, I, or anyone else agrees with these designations is another discussion entirely. I am merely relating what they are and what states are included in them.

You may now get the bucket and sponge to wash down the blackboard. ;-)